Well, as quickly as life shuts a door another is opened. While drinking a cup of coffee in December that I could barely gag down, I realized I may be pregnant again. I didn't know what to do, I was still freaked out and emotions were still whacked by the miscarriage. As the weeks went by I finally was able to step out of the denial of being pregnant again enough to call the doctor's office to make an appointment.
I have switched offices, and let me state from the 1st appointment on, I have felt more welcomed, comfortable and informed at my new office than I did at the last one. This time we actually told our family members earlier, I wanted to have a support system around me if anything happened again, I didn't want that alone feeling.
We had our initial ultrasound and the heartbeat was very strong, I just wanted to keep listening. It was such a change compared to the last ultrasound I had seen. The weeks continued, my stress level between appointments remained, those 4 weeks in between were tough because I didn't know what was happening. The one thing I could find ease in was being nauseous and sick for 15 weeks, I knew if I was sick, things must be continuing to progress. While I no way enjoyed it, I found comfort in it.
Just before we hit 20 weeks, I started to feel the movements, another great ease in my mind. Probably more ease than the monthly appointments listening to the heartbeat, because this could be felt daily. Then the 2nd ultrasound made it more real with new measurements and images.
As the weeks progress and we long to meet the little one in August, I find comfort in the kicks that keep me awake. And treasure the exhaustion more than I may have before.
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