As my little brother says, "with technology these days, why wouldn't you find out the gender?"
Short Answer: I don't want to, it won't change if I have the baby or not or if I love them or not. Same with the genetic testing, I don't care, and I don't need to know.
Long Answer: Why does it matter that I know?
It doesn't change how I carry the pregnancy, I still have a baby growing inside of me, it's kicking, I've been sick, I go to my appointments, I follow the diet, I grow out of my clothes, etc.
I don't plan to paint my nursery pink or blue, I want it to be neutral. I plan to have more kids, so why would I want a room I am going to have to paint over & over again?
I don't want to have a shower where I get 57 headbands for my little girl. I want to have a shower that would provide me with things I actually NEED to have a kid and kids in the future.
I don't want my kid defined by their gender color, pink or blue. I am not a big fan of pink, so I don't want them dressed in their gender's commercially assigned color. I want to have it open, let them decide if they want to be a princess or an outdoorsmen on their own.
I don't want to have a name picked out that I am calling the unborn child, sure we have names we like but maybe they just won't fit when I see the new baby. I don't want to be calling my stomach, Shania or Jim, Baby O. suits it just fine.
I like the sense of not knowing, it doesn't change how I am feeling through the pregnancy, the unknown is just part of becoming a parent. How they will behave is unknown, how it will change me is unknown, why not just relax and live with the unknown.
My love for them will not change if they are a boy or a girl, Greg's love for them will not change. We enjoy the mystery and don't think we'll change in the future either.
ADDITION: This came up on my Facebook feed this morning, I fully agree with this post: http://www.scarymommy.com/not-find-out-boy-or-girl/
Monday, May 2, 2016
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
[Recipe] Honey Chicken
A quick 30 minute recipe that has become an easy go-to for us over the last few years. (Sorry not picture this time, you'll just have to trust it tastes good!)
Ingredients:
1 pound chicken breast
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/8 cup chopped onion (or 1/16 cup onion flakes)
1/8 cup ketchup
1 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 clove garlic minced
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
Instructions:
Ingredients:
1 pound chicken breast
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/8 cup chopped onion (or 1/16 cup onion flakes)
1/8 cup ketchup
1 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 clove garlic minced
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
Instructions:
- Cut the chicken into bite size pieces, put into a baking dish (that has a lid).
- Season the chicken with the salt & pepper. Mix to help cover the pieces.
- In a separate bowl, combine honey, soy sauce, onion, ketchup, oil, garlic & pepper flakes.
- Pour the liquid mixture over the chicken.
- Bake at 350 degrees, stirring every 10 mins until the chicken is cooked through. It typically is 30 mins, but based on the size of chicken pieces we have had to go to 40 minutes.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Life Changes Quickly
Well, as quickly as life shuts a door another is opened. While drinking a cup of coffee in December that I could barely gag down, I realized I may be pregnant again. I didn't know what to do, I was still freaked out and emotions were still whacked by the miscarriage. As the weeks went by I finally was able to step out of the denial of being pregnant again enough to call the doctor's office to make an appointment.
I have switched offices, and let me state from the 1st appointment on, I have felt more welcomed, comfortable and informed at my new office than I did at the last one. This time we actually told our family members earlier, I wanted to have a support system around me if anything happened again, I didn't want that alone feeling.
We had our initial ultrasound and the heartbeat was very strong, I just wanted to keep listening. It was such a change compared to the last ultrasound I had seen. The weeks continued, my stress level between appointments remained, those 4 weeks in between were tough because I didn't know what was happening. The one thing I could find ease in was being nauseous and sick for 15 weeks, I knew if I was sick, things must be continuing to progress. While I no way enjoyed it, I found comfort in it.
Just before we hit 20 weeks, I started to feel the movements, another great ease in my mind. Probably more ease than the monthly appointments listening to the heartbeat, because this could be felt daily. Then the 2nd ultrasound made it more real with new measurements and images.
As the weeks progress and we long to meet the little one in August, I find comfort in the kicks that keep me awake. And treasure the exhaustion more than I may have before.
I have switched offices, and let me state from the 1st appointment on, I have felt more welcomed, comfortable and informed at my new office than I did at the last one. This time we actually told our family members earlier, I wanted to have a support system around me if anything happened again, I didn't want that alone feeling.
We had our initial ultrasound and the heartbeat was very strong, I just wanted to keep listening. It was such a change compared to the last ultrasound I had seen. The weeks continued, my stress level between appointments remained, those 4 weeks in between were tough because I didn't know what was happening. The one thing I could find ease in was being nauseous and sick for 15 weeks, I knew if I was sick, things must be continuing to progress. While I no way enjoyed it, I found comfort in it.
Just before we hit 20 weeks, I started to feel the movements, another great ease in my mind. Probably more ease than the monthly appointments listening to the heartbeat, because this could be felt daily. Then the 2nd ultrasound made it more real with new measurements and images.
As the weeks progress and we long to meet the little one in August, I find comfort in the kicks that keep me awake. And treasure the exhaustion more than I may have before.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
[Recipe] Blueberry Muffins
I've been wanting blueberry muffins, but not boxed, they didn't sound appealing. So I started the Pinterest search to find the perfect muffin, 5 pins later I picked one that I had all the ingredients for and went for it. And they were great, hubby liked them, little bro liked them & my mom liked them. So we'll flag it as a success.
Here's the recipe.
Ingredients
2/3 cup white sugar
1 large egg
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sour cream (or greek yogurt)
1 cup blueberries (or as many as you feel you need to put in)
White sugar to sprinkle on the top
Instructions
1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees
2. Combine the sugar, egg, oil, milk & vanilla. Mix well.
3. Add the flour, baking powder & salt. Once mixed well with the liquid ingredients, add in the sour cream. Mix and then add the blueberries.
4. Fill in the muffin tins, should make about 8-12 regular sized muffins. Sprinkle sugar over the top if you want it.
5. Bake for 25 mins.
Here's the recipe.
2/3 cup white sugar
1 large egg
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sour cream (or greek yogurt)
1 cup blueberries (or as many as you feel you need to put in)
White sugar to sprinkle on the top
Instructions
1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees
2. Combine the sugar, egg, oil, milk & vanilla. Mix well.
3. Add the flour, baking powder & salt. Once mixed well with the liquid ingredients, add in the sour cream. Mix and then add the blueberries.
4. Fill in the muffin tins, should make about 8-12 regular sized muffins. Sprinkle sugar over the top if you want it.
5. Bake for 25 mins.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Truth
Okay, honestly I thought I was improving, emotionally and physically.
But to my surprise, making my way back to the class Greg & I had been taking was a bit rougher than I anticipated. Greg ended up not going, but I pushed myself to go anyway. As I made my way through the 1st set, I could feel the exhaustion take over my body. This is not a normal feeling for me and as we pushed further into the workout I realized that my energy still wasn't where it had been and I was more out of shape than I have been in my life. I survived and will go back but clearly it isn't as quick of bounce back as I had hoped.
Emotionally, I struggle with every birth announcement that has been published on a social media site. I know I am in the age when people start to settle down to have a family, but it is hard to see someone having the initial happiness that I also felt just weeks ago. Friends and family alike, I have happiness for them, but I really don't know how to show it right now.
Being in conversations where people start to ask others about having a baby or teasing them about it makes me uncomfortable. I have found myself excusing myself to walk away, as I do not know if I will cry or say something I shouldn't.
That's where I'm at. And it's a lot easier to tell someone about a miscarriage than have them say things that hurt. I know it catches them off guard and I don't want them to immediately feel bad for me. I want them to understand that sometimes someone is struggling and unless you know them well enough, it may not be your place to tease them, spread rumors or ask those types of questions.
But to my surprise, making my way back to the class Greg & I had been taking was a bit rougher than I anticipated. Greg ended up not going, but I pushed myself to go anyway. As I made my way through the 1st set, I could feel the exhaustion take over my body. This is not a normal feeling for me and as we pushed further into the workout I realized that my energy still wasn't where it had been and I was more out of shape than I have been in my life. I survived and will go back but clearly it isn't as quick of bounce back as I had hoped.
Emotionally, I struggle with every birth announcement that has been published on a social media site. I know I am in the age when people start to settle down to have a family, but it is hard to see someone having the initial happiness that I also felt just weeks ago. Friends and family alike, I have happiness for them, but I really don't know how to show it right now.
Being in conversations where people start to ask others about having a baby or teasing them about it makes me uncomfortable. I have found myself excusing myself to walk away, as I do not know if I will cry or say something I shouldn't.
That's where I'm at. And it's a lot easier to tell someone about a miscarriage than have them say things that hurt. I know it catches them off guard and I don't want them to immediately feel bad for me. I want them to understand that sometimes someone is struggling and unless you know them well enough, it may not be your place to tease them, spread rumors or ask those types of questions.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Rough Road
We've made it through 1.5 years! As I said in my blog a year ago, it hasn't been easy, but it's been worth it.
We have gotten nicely settle into our house, it feels like home. We've told each other that many times, we just feel more at home here.
The last month has been rough, we went through the excitement of finding out we were pregnant and told our parents. While we anxiously waited for an ultrasound and came to terms that things would be changing, things started to not feel right. After calling the doctor's office for a 2nd time, the nurse told me to come in. As I watched the screen of the ultrasound, my fears became the truth and were further verified by the tech, 'there is no heartbeat'. And just like that it was done at 9 weeks.
It sucked. I bawled as I attempted to tell my mom. I didn't go back to work. I went home & cuddled my pup, sat with Greg & walked.
While I thought it was done, my system had to clear. While the worst of it was over quickly, the weekly blood draws drug on. Every Friday, I stopped at the lab for another draw. Waited until Monday to talk to a nurse, to hear I needed to go back. My count dropped rapidly at first, then it slowed...and slowed to a painful pace. I just wanted it over, the pit of my elbows were bruises. Finally, after 6 weeks, they said it was to an okay level, I was clear. And then it was officially over.
It is crazy how much more aware of pregnancy announcements you are during that time. It is painful to see cousins and friends announcing their pregnancies. You are happy for them, but you don't know how to react.
I have been focusing my energy on fixing up our house and decorating, things I put off over the last year. Also getting myself back to the gym. Greg and I also are now Fitbit wearers, we are using it to challenge each other to get ourselves moving, but also good to have a little competition.
We have gotten nicely settle into our house, it feels like home. We've told each other that many times, we just feel more at home here.
The last month has been rough, we went through the excitement of finding out we were pregnant and told our parents. While we anxiously waited for an ultrasound and came to terms that things would be changing, things started to not feel right. After calling the doctor's office for a 2nd time, the nurse told me to come in. As I watched the screen of the ultrasound, my fears became the truth and were further verified by the tech, 'there is no heartbeat'. And just like that it was done at 9 weeks.
It sucked. I bawled as I attempted to tell my mom. I didn't go back to work. I went home & cuddled my pup, sat with Greg & walked.
While I thought it was done, my system had to clear. While the worst of it was over quickly, the weekly blood draws drug on. Every Friday, I stopped at the lab for another draw. Waited until Monday to talk to a nurse, to hear I needed to go back. My count dropped rapidly at first, then it slowed...and slowed to a painful pace. I just wanted it over, the pit of my elbows were bruises. Finally, after 6 weeks, they said it was to an okay level, I was clear. And then it was officially over.
It is crazy how much more aware of pregnancy announcements you are during that time. It is painful to see cousins and friends announcing their pregnancies. You are happy for them, but you don't know how to react.
I have been focusing my energy on fixing up our house and decorating, things I put off over the last year. Also getting myself back to the gym. Greg and I also are now Fitbit wearers, we are using it to challenge each other to get ourselves moving, but also good to have a little competition.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Up-Cycled Holiday Decor
We have had a nagging box of cut-off fence posts, from our fence project last year, sitting in our garage for a year now. Greg has been having a meltdown on getting rid of them the entire time. But I refused to let him, I saw a lot of potential crafts in there. It just took a bit for me to get to it. But we finally have! Two seasons are now taken care of: Fall & Winter.
Pumpkins
We found a mix of 3 sizes to make a set. The 'pumpkin' orange was just a bit too orange, so we tinted it down with some brown. Then found a branch in the yard & sawed of stems for each pumpkin & tied a set together with some jute.
Snowmen
For the snowmen, I grabbed a random pack of socks at the store for the hats and just started. The tallest posts we had left were paired up to make a couple. We stretched the socks to the max to cover the top of the posts & then cut the tops to add the tassels. The scarf is fleece & the rest is all paint.
Pumpkins
We found a mix of 3 sizes to make a set. The 'pumpkin' orange was just a bit too orange, so we tinted it down with some brown. Then found a branch in the yard & sawed of stems for each pumpkin & tied a set together with some jute.
Snowmen
For the snowmen, I grabbed a random pack of socks at the store for the hats and just started. The tallest posts we had left were paired up to make a couple. We stretched the socks to the max to cover the top of the posts & then cut the tops to add the tassels. The scarf is fleece & the rest is all paint.
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