Okay, honestly I thought I was improving, emotionally and physically.
But to my surprise, making my way back to the class Greg & I had been taking was a bit rougher than I anticipated. Greg ended up not going, but I pushed myself to go anyway. As I made my way through the 1st set, I could feel the exhaustion take over my body. This is not a normal feeling for me and as we pushed further into the workout I realized that my energy still wasn't where it had been and I was more out of shape than I have been in my life. I survived and will go back but clearly it isn't as quick of bounce back as I had hoped.
Emotionally, I struggle with every birth announcement that has been published on a social media site. I know I am in the age when people start to settle down to have a family, but it is hard to see someone having the initial happiness that I also felt just weeks ago. Friends and family alike, I have happiness for them, but I really don't know how to show it right now.
Being in conversations where people start to ask others about having a baby or teasing them about it makes me uncomfortable. I have found myself excusing myself to walk away, as I do not know if I will cry or say something I shouldn't.
That's where I'm at. And it's a lot easier to tell someone about a miscarriage than have them say things that hurt. I know it catches them off guard and I don't want them to immediately feel bad for me. I want them to understand that sometimes someone is struggling and unless you know them well enough, it may not be your place to tease them, spread rumors or ask those types of questions.
