Find Your Essentials

Over the past 5 years I've followed a handful of personal financial bloggers in and around my age group, because I could relate or liked how they approached things. However, as my life changes with having kids and their needs, living in a different location, their tips or ideas become more unrelatable or they have become too outspoken that it's hard to stay focused on what brought you to following them.

So many budgeting apps & tips have become very strong opinions of how to spend your money that it drives me nuts. I love the visual of using budgeting apps. And yes, I have beliefs on setting my budget. But no one's budget is quite the same, their situation is a bit different.

Big ones are:

• Don't go out to eat, buy coffee, etc. (latte factor)
• Pay only with cash.
• Cut out non-essentials.
• Don't get a credit card.

I do budget, but dude my mental health needs to be good too. Coffee is something I find essential, so I am going to get it. Paying with cash only loses out on interest rewards I can get by using my debt & credit cards. I find coffee as an essential & my husband finds cable to watch sporting events as essential (cheaper than going somewhere else to watch them & have to buy food & drinks to be there). Don't get a credit card? Time value of money!! I pay it off when it's due, but during that period I have the money in savings gaining interest & I am also getting credit card rewards. So sorry, going to use it. 

All I'm saying is budget to you & your needs. Know your level & keep your sanity, don't cut yourself down so much you never have fun!

I am Beyond Grateful

I am beyond grateful that I have 2 happy and healthy children.

I am beyond grateful we are able to support them.

I am beyond grateful I was able to spend 12 weeks home with my 2nd.

I am beyond grateful for the job I have and co-workers I have. 

I am beyond grateful for my family.

I am beyond grateful for the relationships I have with my siblings. 

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This is list could continue, but that's not really information you need to know, but it does lay the groundwork for creating a positive mindset. 

I think far too often we start to focus on the negative and forget what we have. While I could be sad that other pregnancies ended in miscarriage or stressed by the poorer relationships in my life. I have chosen to find the good. 

Mental health is so vital in your life & relationships that you can't just let it go. The longer you neglect it the further you get buried and fighting out of it is hard. I have been in that low spot and I don't want to go back. There are times it rears it's ugly head and I have let it slip back in, but I don't like the feeling afterwards. Being able to see the good in the situation or looking at the other side of a situation will change your mindset. Don't just look for the negatives or what ifs. Think about the positives and look at the future. You can't change your past, you can't focus on your regrets - these do nothing for you. BE PRESENT.

I am not saying this is 100% my mindset these days, because it's not. It's a daily battle, but man, when I can embrace it, my outlook is better & mood is happier. 

If you want to work on your mental health, I will happily support you and join you on your journey. I challenge you to start small - every night before you fall asleep remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for that day. 

Schedule vs. Routine

I recently read something that made a quick explanation between a schedule & a routine and I immediately was like yes!!!

• A schedule has times, times that must be hit to make it successful. Times that cause stress when you miss it.
• A routine is a pattern of things that happen but don't have a specific time they must be done, it allows flexibility.

When you enter parenthood, you start to use these words 'schedule' 'routine' in your regular conversations. But they shouldn't be used interchangeable.

There are the parents that are stuck on a time schedule, baby must eat at these times, sleep at these times...blah, blah, blah. It leaves little flexibility for unplanned events, times when something is out of your control and it starts to raise anxiety in them. Which as a parent isn't good, let's be honest the babe probably can't tell until it senses something different in the parent. Ride it out.

With a routine, there is flexibility in the time. Babe knows rocking with a bottle and jammies is right before bed, doesn't matter the time. And so much less stress on the parent when they day has been hectic.

Okay, truth I was a little OCD on certain activities and times for the first part of my little guy's life. It took me a while to realize it didn't matter if bedtime was varied by 20 mins because something threw us off, or if we had to push bath time back a day. It happens life is hectic, babe doesn't realize it, they just want you to be there and love them. And if you are stressed you aren't full there for them.

Just a fresh perspective on your day - are you a schedule or a routine?

Starting The New Year

It's been a while since I have written, like truly written. I do find it to be something that allows me to get my thoughts out, but 2017 was busy and good in so many ways while also being a bit gray and emotional test as well.

Being a mom for the 1st time is beautiful & ugly. You're learning something new at the same time you are doing it. No manual, but so many opinions coming at you on how 'they' used to do it, or your own thoughts questioning you the entire time. It's tough. It's draining. And you will get through it. And learn many new lessons and so much more about who you are. It tests your relationships and how you are able to respond says a lot about you.

Looking back at 2017, I have reflected on low areas, the high areas & the relationships. While I wish I could have handled certain parts better, I wouldn't change them because they have led me to where I am now and the ability to recognize it and grow from it. At the end of 2017, I took some steps towards making 2018 a less stressed & happier year. And set some goals to do so.

~Reduce the Comparisons
So many of us get caught in the rut of so & so got this or so & so's kid did this. Why do this to ourselves? As a parent, I found myself doing this far too much with people who had a kid the same age as my son & it wasn't productive! And it just causes you stress. Social media hasn't helped this. I have slowly started eliminating people I follow or am connected with, if I don't regularly interact with them I don't need to follow them nor do they need to see what my family is up to. Every family has their own style and every kid develops differently.

~Reduce Electronic Time
I didn't read a book in 2017. This is odd for me. Well, I read many, many children's books because I do find reading with my little to be important and he loves it too. Many times I'd find him either flipping through a book by himself or bringing us books to read. In 2018, I want to reduce my mindless scrolling of social sites (which should help with less connections) and do something more relaxing and eye saving and just read a book, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, or even sit in silence. It's about disconnecting.

~Create Time for Myself
This is so so hard as a mom & so so critical. I didn't do well at this within the little man's first year & am looking to improve it. As a working parent you only have a set amount of time with them in a week & you want to take advantage of the time you have and not give it away by going away for 'me time' or on a date night. But it is critical for your health - focusing here on your mental health. One for sure time I get is grocery time, I may wander the aisles a bit longer, get myself a coffee & sit in my car enjoying silence, but it's a reset I need!

~Being a Do-er more than a Say-er
So many people talk about how they're going to do this or that. But then never do it. Don't say I'm going to start walking or running to make yourself sound like a dedicated exercise person, because if you don't do it you're word starts to drop. Or say we should meet up, but then never reach out to someone. If you have no plans to do something, don't say it. There is a reason there are so many sayings out there that say something related to "I don't trust words, I trust actions". Let's be honest if you aren't doing the small things like saying you're going to start walking more and then don't, how can you be trusted in big things. My plans include reducing the talk & seeing more action. If I don't to do something, I'll let you know.

If I look at my plans for the year it looks like it's focusing on being a better me, aka. it looks like a self-help book. However, if I am not helping myself, I can't fully be there for other people. Your own health and happiness is critical in all your relationships and if you aren't working on those along the way your relationships will suffer. So, yes, they may be focused on 'me' but in the larger scheme they are base I need to grow my relationships.

Changing Holiday Season

The Holiday Season...a season of joy, stress, happiness, sadness, laughs, tears, just to name a few. You run out and spend money to bring joy to your family & friends. Send holiday cards & perhaps a letter. You bake & eat too much causing you to set workout & weight loss new years resolutions that last 1 month max. You follow the tradition that's been set out for generations before you. It happens every year, it is what the holiday season entails.

And we did nothing short than all of it this year.

However, traditions are starting to change in our families. There are gaps that are new this year & seem to be floating as the elephant in the room. There are jokes that are missing, the typical, 'I didn't want anything for Christmas' voice is gone as they open a box that refreshes their wardrobe was not there. It happens across America, we've dealt with it before. But yet, the 1st holiday season without that voice is different.

A week before Christmas, we still weren't sure what we would be doing. For 26 years of my life, we have had Christmas at home, loaded up the vehicle (2 hours behind the departure time), and headed to NW Iowa for a few days at my grandparents. A 3 hour drive, with frequent pit stops because my dad drank an extra large iced tea, David got car sick or somebody had to be separated from another sibling are no longer there. No more will we spend the day after Christmas at the Y with my grandpa introducing us to the whole staff before he goes to walk or run laps. This year, my grandma lives just across town from my parents now and my grandpa is watching over us.

We made our new tradition this year, both grandmas at our house, with all my siblings, significant others, and pets coming from everywhere, we had a huge spread of food, games & laughs. While our grandpas sat together looking over us with smiles on their faces, because gosh knows if they were with us, they would have been napping next to each other on the couch.

The same evolution happened in Greg's family, there was a missing voice. Missing sarcastic comments that would put a smile on your face. It's different, it's a new feeling, but you adjust. Someone else in the family attempts to say what the missing voice would of said & it's met with a chuckle & a tear. Yet, in that time we found time to enjoy the large spread of food, gifts & sharing stories & laughs with family.

Traditions change, but as long  you have your family with you, you can support each other & adjust.

Happy Holidays from our new family tradition!

Lessons from ACL Reconstruction

As the basketball season rolled on at NB and girls started to tear their ACLs, I thought to myself what words of encouragement could I give? What did I learn from the experience? What advice could I give? Now that my sister has joined the group, I feel I need to get my thoughts down.

I didn't have the what's wrong factor some people go through after doing something to their knee. I knew it was the ACL and Kurt, my PT, and Dr. Jones, my surgeon, fully agreed. And then it was time for the pain and work to get back.

One of the first thing Kurt told me was that if I came in with a negative attitude, he would not work with me. That was blunt, but he told me it was going to be tough and that I needed to be positive if I was going to get back. There lies the 1st lesson: Optimism

During reconstruction and rebuilding your strength, you work with a lot of different people each wants to get you back to your full ability in the quickest timeframe, but they know you have to be back at a reasonable strength level and with a low chance of re-injury. However, at times you feel they aren't doing enough because you are feeling good, but this is what they went to school for and it's their reputation on the line based on your success. Which brings us to the 2nd & 3rd lessons: Listen & Trust

ACL reconstruction can take months, 6 months is the typical statement. It may be more it may be less, but it will take time and you will feel it at other times in the future as well. That's a lot of time to stay focused, keep working and having patience that you will get back. After surgery the muscle in your surgery leg seems to disappear, it is crazy. You want that leg muscle back and it's painful, but you can't rush and you have to work through some of the pain, you've got to take the necessary time to get back and make sure it heals properly and is strong enough. This is a time to learn proper form, learn the game you are going back for more throughly, it will make you better as a whole. The next lesson is three-fold: Perseverance, Hard Work & Mental Toughness

As an athlete, you are a member of a team, most likely an active member if you got hurt. You have a role you filled and now it's changed. You can't just jump out and play, you've become a the injured reserve. This can be incredibly hard, but you've got to find a way to be positive and encouraging to your team, you can't sit and sulk and feel sorry for yourself. This is your chance to express how much you can support your team, learn the game further, offer advice to a teammate, but remember to be active. WANT to be a part of the team, injured or not. Final lesson: Be a Team Player

Through the rehab process you'll meet people who are going to support you and drive you to get better. You'll have to take rehab on head on and commit your efforts and focus into improving each day. Celebrate the small things like bending your knee a few more degrees, getting to full rotations on the bike or adding weight to your squats. No 2 rehabs are the same, so don't compare your progress to someone else going through the same process, you've got to go at the pace you can handle based on your PT's advice. Frustrations will come, as will tears, but how you react will determine your success. But remember, that knee has to get you through the rest of your life, take care of it!

Things I've Learned This School Year

**Please note that these learnings are not academic.

• In my sixth year of higher-ed, I have discovered I have nearly mastered the art of procrastination when it comes to academics. 
• In the past week, I have completed my grandpa's slideshow, baked cookies (twice) and cleaned anything and everything, but still have a lot of homework to do.
• Undergrads now-a-days do not know what citing sources is.
• Evidently, citing sources has been eliminated from HS curriculum. After teaching this past year, I have had to deal with arguments that copy and pasting a website at the end of the paper is citing. NO! If facts or quotes are used they probably came from somewhere, so cite it, otherwise it's plagiarism!
• The straightest distance between two points in straight line, therefore crosswalks take too long.
• I'm from small town Iowa, went to a small college and crosswalks were never used. I find them to be out of the way and to take too long, so yes I jaywalk 9 out of 10 times, because I don't like to wait.
• I'm getting older.
• Therefore, I need more sleep than I used to get and midnight is too late. Also my body doesn't bounce back as quickly from playing too much volleyball or stupid little nagging injuries, seriously! Also I like my coffee black...old I'm telling you!
• My brother has better fashion sense than me...evidently I got Jeff's genes there.
• Every once and awhile I check my oil when I get gas.
• This is to appease Greg and my grandpa (cause I would guess he is watching me). However, I have no idea what I would do if it read it was low on oil...probably call Mark.
• Patience & Faith.
• I'm not always good with these, but my Grandpa Mouw reminds me of this whenever I talk to him. Thank goodness I have this reminder.

Well that's what I have for now, but everyday is a learning day.

Happy Mother's Day!

I thought I'd take the time on this lovely Mother's Day to thank my mom for all she has taught me about myself over the 24.5 years we have spent together. Without her, I may not have been able to to figure this all out!

1. She's my favorite.
My mom has 4 wonderful kids, each with their own personality, but it seems the 3rd child gets a bit more attention. Why you make ask? Well according to my mom, she is the favorite. This statement was reinforced by the card Leah received on Valentine's day, see image on the right.

2. I am huge.
About a year or so ago, Leah so kindly took my seat after I stood up, well of course I sat on her for doing this. After Leah's squeal of aggravation, my mom looks at me and tells me to get off of her because I am huge! Really mom?? Huge is not a substitution for tall! However, I did sit on the favorite, refer to #1.

3. I am uncoordinated.For many years of my childhood I wanted to be in dance with all my friends, but my mom didn't like it and never let me join. She tells me later in life it was because I was uncoordinated and she didn't want me to embarrass myself...thanks mom. Why did you let me be in gymnastics? That requires a lot of coordination too...thank god for participation trophies!

4. I have no butt in dress pants.
Last fall, after I walked across the whole U of I campus to find the emergency room my grandpa was in, my mom's first reaction to seeing my sweating face in a business suit is that I have not butt in dress pants. Why thank you, I am glad to see you too!

5. Stray animals easily become pets.
Well, let's see. Every one of the animals my family has adopted in the past...all my life...has been a stray or abandoned animal. The ones that land on our porch are the most adoptable and I guess can be easily converted. My mom is too much of a softy to let the animals to starve or be cold and to be honest my dad is the same way (but he'll never admit that!).

6. Family is #1.
My mom would drop nearly anything if her family needs her. Whether it is a sporting or fine arts event, birthday or medical happening, she wants to support her family. This is something she has transferred on to her kids as well. I will make trips home to see Leah and Daniel's events or trips to see my grandparents, David does the same thing. And I am willing to bet Leah will be the same next year as she journeys off to college.


7. When I was your age...After graduation from Central, I complained about the job search, etc. Typical stuff. However, my mom's response often was at your age, I was married, commuted to school...blah, blah the list went on. She had a way of making feel like I needed to do more/have motivation to keep fighting for what I want. However, too bad for you mom, I will still complain & you'll have to listen! :)

8. I say it how it is.
My mom seems to think this is kind of annoying or rude. But has she met my father? I learned all I know from him. And just for the record, I do better at keeping my volume down and holding my tongue than he does!
I figured Mother's Day was a chance for me to not let you down & 'say it how it is'. Thank you for being a wonderful and supportive mom for all of us & Happy Mother's Day! :)

Oregon in Review

After being back in Iowa for a few weeks ad feeling a little more settled, I have had time to reflect on the time in Oregon. So here are a few things that were learned or worth remembering.

Pumping your own gas is against the law in the state of Oregon.I was not a big fan of this law, it meant that you had to wait longer to get gas while the 1, maybe 2 gas attendants filled all the tanks. Plus the chance of getting your windows washed was like 1 in 459!

Roadsharing signs don't mean anything to drivers.There are plenty of 'Share the Road' signs throughout Oregon and in places there are even nicely paved bike lanes. I figured riding my bike would be pretty relaxed, considering all the signs. But after a few close calls, I decided the drivers don't seem to understand road sharing. In a lot of places the shoulder really didn't exist and I would ride as tight to the white line as possible, but logging trucks do not move over and it freaked me out way too many times!

Crosswalks are for real.Something that took me the entire time I was in Oregon to adjust to was the use of crosswalks. Pedestrians would just go, because the cars were expected to stop. I never really trusted that theory and most the time I would stop at the corner waiting for the car to go, but then the car would suddenly stop and I would have to take off across the road. As a driver, I had to stay aware because at any time a pedestrian could keep coming and I would be expected to stop. It led to many awkward times for me and my roommates who also were not accustomed to it.

Rain, Rain & More Rain.It rained everyday. Seeing the sun for 45 minutes in a week was sometimes a miracle! When I was told it rained, but didn't snow I didn't think it would be that bad. I underestimated the gray-ness of rain. It was very annoying to constantly have wet pants, shoes, socks, etc. I also heard from someone that true Oregonians don't use umbrellas. I can say I wasn't a true Oregonian by those standards. I had an umbrella with me at all times, my umbrella probably saw more use this year than it has in its entire lifespan! However, I also know that this was an abnormal year in rain totals, cold and snow for the Portland area, but I am not a fan of the rain!

Population of 20,000+When I interviewed, I was told Forest Grove had a population of 20,000. In my mind that was a pretty good sized town, I mean 20 times the size of Greene! I also figured it would have stores, restaurants and other 'big' city things. This was all a dream. Forest Grove did have a chain grocery store, but that was pretty much it. If you wanted anything else, you had to drive to Hillsboro or Beaverton. Kind of annoying, but I guess it is relative. In Iowa, that size of town would have all that stuff, but in Oregon it wasn't big enough to house all of those stores.

Regional food cravings.Almond bark was pretty much an unknown in Oregon. I thought it was surprising, but it was a lesson in regional markets, which may be helpful in grad school. I also learned cheeseballs are also a regional thing. Lastly, the name for maidrites, as I have always called them, is very confusing to others. I made dinner for a bunch of people one night and I said I was making maidrites, several admitted after they got there that they had know idea what I was making. It was an interesting discussion as we came up for all the different names they called them.

Overall, it was a good experience. I learned about a region that is a lot different than the midwest, I also learned how I would and wouldn't manage people in the future. During the 10 months in Oregon, I think I also realized what I find more important in life and one of those things is being closer to my family. I want the opportunity to go home for an important thing in my siblings' lives or to just be able to stop by and see everyone. I had a great first year out of undergrad, I visited 15 states, I visited my family on the west coast, I met some great people, I had my first full time job, I learned how to manage my own expenses and I had the support of my family throughout. What more can I ask for?

Merry Christmas From The Mouws

December 2010Happy Holidays,
I just came into the house from blowing snow off my driveway. There was some where between 6 and 200 inches of snow from yesterday’s blizzard. I decided that the creative juices were adequately flowing and I immediately sat down to type this greeting. At this moment I have enough snot and other types of moisture frozen in my mustache that it might not thaw for 24-48 hours, and my fingers are so numb that I can’t feel the keyboard of my computer. Yet, my wife just said that Sara called and said she was SO sick of the rain they were getting in Oregon. In fact it had filled some ditches and the water was actually “spilling onto the road”…………BOO HOO!

Speaking of Sara, after graduating from Central College last May she found a job as the Assistant Sports Information Director at Pacific University in Forest Grove, Oregon. We put a hitch on her 2000 Chevy Malibu and Sandy, Sara and myself headed off pulling a U-Haul on the Oregon Trail. Quite a trip, but we made it with no problems (thankfully) and Sara has enjoyed her time thus far in Oregon with her new job. Thank goodness my brother, Doug, is in Portland and Forest Grove is just outside of Portland. Sara has some family out there and a knowledgeable tour guide!

David is in his sophomore year at the University of Northern Iowa and seems to be enjoying his college experience. He added a part-time job this year to his schedule this year and that keeps him busy along with school. David’s job is at a KWIK STAR convenience store that coincidently is managed by a student of mine that I had in the late 80’s. Kim’s (the manager) father is the custodian at the elementary school here in town. One day he shared with Sandy and I that David was her favorite employee, as he is doing his job well. YES! Sandy and I may have done something right in raising that kid!

Leah is a junior in high school and doing well. Between her academics, athletics, a college course on Wednesday nights and more then adequate times with friends, she keeps herself very busy. Currently she is playing on the girl’s basketball team, which is rated in the top 10 in the state! Having graduated several talented seniors from last year’s team, few expected our team to be back in the top 10. Though they did not start even rated at the beginning of the season, they have managed to go undefeated to this point in the season. This past fall, Leah was voted by her teammates as the MVP of the volleyball team. That was quite an honor for her.

Daniel is an 8th grader and finishing his last year in middle school. A year ago I believe I mentioned that Daniel enjoys being in the middle school musical productions over the years, but has also managed to get a non-singing part. Well, it happened this year, as not only did he have to sing a bit, he actually had a short solo. The talent agents were swarming the stage afterwards to sign him as a recording artist. Funny thing though, he declined all offers and said he would rather play video games right now at this stage of his life. Sigh. Daniel moved to David’s bedroom in the basement, and now refers to it as his “man cave”. It is not uncommon for him to excuse himself to the basement with a friend and not see them for I think sometimes weeks. Video games?!?……maybe Sandy and I messed up there.

Sandy is still teaching first grade and I am still plugging away teaching high school math. For Christmas Sandy and I decided to get a new mattress as our gift to each other and call it good. Now that I think about it, how unromantic is that? I think I’ll surprise her with a pack of gum as well! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

© Jeff Mouw 2010

ACL Story--5 Years Later

5-years ago today, I was a senior playing high school basketball for one of the best teams in the state of Iowa. However, in one step that can all change and it did. Tearing my ACL was not how I planned on ending my high school playing time, but sometimes things happen for a reason. And that reason isn't obvious until years later.

As time goes by I realize there was a reason it happened and I realize there is more to life than sports. Sports will come to an end, but it's what you take away from it that shapes you in the future. I became stronger as a person and mentally prepared to take on new challenges. Going through rehab you literally learn to walk again. It was definitely discouraging at times and I wondered why I continued to push through it, but I honestly can say I am a better person because of it and am very grateful for my orthopedic surgeon, those close to me and the physical therapists I worked with continued to push me. My knee is stronger than it was and I am still able to play the sports I enjoy.

Below is a story I had to write in my Lit class freshman year at Central. It is called a Mystory and it is written in fragment style. A mystory is a combination of an old story tied in with a personal story and the fragment style is written in more of a random thoughts format (much more my style!). I chose to tie together The Little Engine That Could and my ACL story, it was still something that weighed a lot on my mind because it had only been about 10 months since I had had surgery but I was playing college volleyball! How blessed I was!


I Think I Can I Think I Can
On the FloorBroken Down
Everything is going good one moment, the next one wonders what else could happen. Leaving them to wonder what comes next. Everything in their world has halted, while the rest of the world continues.


1. “She puffed along merrily. Then all of a sudden she stopped with a jerk. She simply could not go another inch. She tried and she tried, but her wheels would not turn.”
-- The Little Engine That Could Watty Piper
I am driving down the floor, I see the open girl, I am stopping…”POP!” I hear as a fall to the floor, a massive amount of thoughts are going through my head. “I am done, I did what Indy did.” I tore my anterior cruciate ligament, tears are flooding into my eyes, I heard the crowd gasp together. Everyone is looking at me laying on the floor, they do not know what I did, but I do. Everything was going so good, I was playing for the number one team in the state and now in this split second my world is stopped.

2. “It is now one-hundred years since the earliest known publication, by an unknown author, or the story of the determined little engine.”
-- Roy E. Plotnick
I was the second one on my team to tear my anterior cruciate ligament; everyone knew the story, they did not need an author. The author of The Little Engine That Could is unknown, but everyone knows the story. Between Indy and I people have learned the story behind tearing your anterior cruciate ligament, they get it, but do not care who is telling it. I want to get my story out, but it is the same; a new edition of the same story. The Little Engine That Could was revised and retold, but the story is same.

Finding HelpI think I can I think I can
After falling one has to get up again, but finding the courage to do it is hard. Having outside support and becoming mentally strong are big factors. It is all about convincing one’s self that you can do it.

1. “And she thought of the good little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain who would not have any toys or good food unless she help.”
-- The Little Engine That Could Watty Piper
I knew I could not do this on my own, I needed help. After surgery I did not know how I would ever be able to play again. My parents found me the best physical therapist in the area. I just wanted it to be over with I did not want to go through all the pain to getting better. Kurt and the therapy crew told me I could not get down I had to be set on getting back. I knew they were right I had to convince myself to work as hard as possible. They were the help I needed and I all I had to do was listen and follow their instructions and they would have me back in playing conditions.

2. “I think I can—I think I can—I think I can—I think I can….”
-- The Little Engine That Could Watty Piper
I continued through therapy three times a week, knowing I needed to keep working hard. It was tiring, at times I did get down. I wanted to be playing with my team, who continued to win without me. I was feeling left out, but knew the only way I could get stronger was by going to therapy. Lifting, balancing, walking, jumping and running were all really hard to me I had to preserve through the pain to get where I wanted to go. Whenever anyone asked me how I was, I replied “Great” or “Super”. It was my way of convincing myself that everything was going well, I just needed to keep working.

Coming BackI thought I could
After falling, it is hard to get back on your horse. It is for the personal satisfaction of succeeding. Overcoming the fear is the biggest step in coming back, but it can be done. Just have confidence and the rest falls into place.

1. “Children and adults continue to be reminded that good behavior brings rewards; and that with perseverance, hard work, and self-confidence even the smallest and least likely candidate can achieve great things.”
-- Charles A. Smith
As I continued through therapy I became more confident that I could come back and play. I wanted to come back and show everyone that I was fine and nothing had changed. I may not have been the star on my team, but I knew how to work hard. I had been working hard everyday I stepped into therapy I was there to get better and stronger. I was the sweatiest person there, it was an ongoing joke, but I got a towel out of it. After coming for 4 months they could tell I was serious about getting back in time for softball. I had watched my team win a state championship in basketball and set records at track meets, I was not going to sit out anymore; I was coming back.

2. “And the Little Blue Engine smiled and seemed to say as she puffed steadily down the mountain. I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could.”
-- The Little Engine That Could Watty Piper
I did it; after four months and two weeks of struggling physically and emotionally I was cleared to participate again. The first day of softball practice I was there with my team. Carry an extra load, a knee brace, but my spirit was high. I had the people who doubted my ability to comeback, but I knew I could the whole time. For this I smiled, I did not need to rub it in their faces; I just needed to play for my own enjoyment. I had succeed at what I wanted to do for myself.

Changing Plans & Goals

About a week ago my mom was working on cleaning off the computer when she came across an essay I wrote for a scholarship my senior year high school. She sent it to me to look at and all, I could think of is 'wow how goals and plans change!' Here's the essay:

In the future I want to do something that I enjoy and want to continue to do. I plan to attend Central College next year and major in architecture. I will be participating in volleyball and track and field. My top priority while at Central will be deciding between architecture and landscape architecture. No matter which I decide I would like to graduate with a degree in 2012, as both programs are six year programs. From there I would like to join an architecture firm. I would eventually like to have my own firm. I hope to travel worldwide to study architecture of different regions and time periods. After traveling I want to bring back new ideas to the United States and incorporate them into my own designs. I also hope to work toward a master's degree after spending some time in the field. My goal is to find a career that will suit me and allow me to use my education. This is my dream, one I will continue working on until it comes true.

Well, I definitely did not become an architect, because I really am not a good free hand drawer. However, while that seemed to be my huge goal at the time, I also included small ones of having a career I enjoy, completing my education on time and finding a career that suits me. And I did play volleyball and participate in track and field. Architecture didn't, but I am still not sure I know what career will fit me. I am hoping to start a master's program in next year or so.

Isn't it odd how many goals and plans we make in life, but if we look back at them we see how many of them were changed? What we saw as a perfect plan or goal in our lives at 18 has completely changed at age 23. It also leads to the thought: Did I fail because I didn't achieve these goals and plans?

I think it is a reminder as much as we try to lay out a plan or set a goal for ourselves there is a higher power who has the ultimate plan for us. We can make plans and set goals, but can't be disappointed in not meeting them perfectly, because it may not be the plan laid out by God.

Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plan I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Gratefulness Challenge

I would like to issue a challenge to anyone who reads this. It is rather simple and I think you will find it to be rewarding. Try it for awhile, say until Thanksgiving, and I bet it will become part of your routine.

The challenge is this, grab a small notebook and keep it on your nightstand or a place you will see it each day. Then make it a point everyday to write something you are grateful for. Challenge yourself to come up with at least three a day, if you have more great write them down. At first it might seem a little awkward, bu as you get into it I think you will realize it will become easier and as you go through your day you will recognize things (tangible or intangible) you are grateful for.

Here is a little info I found about gratitude:

"Science tells us that an "attitude of gratitude" is a good health choice. Being more grateful more often makes us happier and more optimistic. But gratitude also adds to the bottom line - in very real ways. And the best news about gratitude is that it requires little time and no money."

Here are five reasons gratitude improves your life:

1. Gratitude reduces negativity

- When you realize what you are grateful for you can see more positives in a situation.

2. Gratitude helps us learn.

- See the silver-lining, every problem has an opportunity for us to learn.

3. Gratitude improves relationships.

- Let people know how grateful you are for them being in your life and what they do.

4. Gratitude attracts what we want.

- When you are conscious of the blessings in your life, you attract more the same thing.

5. Gratitude improves problem solving skills.

- You will enter a situation with a perspective of improvement & opportunity rather than challenge.

There is so much to be grateful for, just take the challenge and you will notice the gifts you have been given in your life!

October---Birthday Month

October means birthday month in our household. Mine is the 19th & David's is the 28th. And then Grandpa's is November 2nd, so he just celebrated with us when we were littler.

This year my mom and dad will spend the birthdays of their two oldest in parent-teacher conferences. I will spend mine in Oregon and David will spend it in classes at UNI.

When I was little I celebrated a my birthday at a wedding in Minnesota. It wasn't the same waking up in a hotel to birthday gifts as it was at home. But over the past four years I have gotten used to celebrating in odd places.

Through college my birthday always fell during Central's fall break. Which is the typical time frame the Central Volleyball team takes their big trip.

My freshman year I was not on varsity so I got to go home for my birthday. My sophomore year it was Los Angeles. It was right in the middle of our trip, so when I came out from breakfast to load the vans all the parents sang 'happy birthday' to me and then surprised us with cupcakes after our game. It was nice, but not the same as being able to talk and see my family.

Junior year was even more interesting. New York City. However, it was the day we flew home. I was up at 3 a.m. eastern time to head to the airport to fly back to Iowa. Teammates were there to tell me 'happy birthday' but we were exhausted, so I spent the flight sleeping and then slept most the day when we got home. Senior I celebrated at home again! We had taken our trip to Oregon during Labor Day weekend, so we had fall break off. I got to see Daniel's cross country meet and Leah's volleyball match and celebrate my birthday at home!

This year I will celebrate in Oregon, the fourth state in 5 years! Interesting track record to have. But in the rules of our house you get to choose how to celebrate it. Chantel chose camping....my front runner is roller skating at the rink in Hillsboro decked out in 80's attire. Keep following for pictures to come! :)

Also I will celebrate with care packages.... :D haha.
But really: I like books, so Barnes & Noble. Panera & Target are nice too! Or just fun treats!

How Lucky Our Small Town Is!

Wow, I have come to realize how lucky Greene, Iowa is to have a library at the level it is. The other day I wanted to get a biography, because I am sick of reading fiction books. So I decided to use my Boxer Card (the Pacific ID) at the public library in Forest Grove.

I went in planning to get a biography on John Wooden. You'd think a very common one to find, considering he was one of the best coaches in the nation. Anywho, after I was directed to the biography section I roamed the bookcase, NOTHING, NADA! John Wooden didn't exist, in fact most of them on the shelf were rather old. Not saying old books stink...well actually they do...but I mean their text isn't bad, but there were now newer people. So I found the computer card catalog and searched for John Wooden. To my dismay they had nothing at all, not even already checked out books. I was very frustrated, but decided to settle for some fiction.

After finding a book, I went to check out and gave them my Boxer Card in order to set-up a library card. I was then asked for a my current address so I told her, she then needed proof. Really, I have lived here for 3 weeks, and my Driver's license still is from Iowa...I have a staff ID I clearly am not running away with the book. However, I was unable to check out a book. I guess I have to figure out proof of my address, suggestions?

What I discovered at this library was there was a big emphasis on the technology. Lots of computers in the main area. Honestly, what I love about our library at home is for a town of 1,000 people we have a great selection of new and old titles. The librarians takes suggestions from the public and the library teen board makes new book picks. It is a community oriented library. Greene residents should feel lucky to have the resource they have!

2 years later

It has officially been 2 years after the floods took out Greene's historic main street and many homes along the banks of the Shell Rock River.

The Shell Rock River runs through the heart of Greene, Iowa. Most summers it draws large crowds of boaters who want to spend a warm weekend on the river tubing, skiing and catching some rays. In 2008, it had other plans. About a month earlier Butler County had be declared a disaster area due the EF5 tornado that hit Parkersburg, just 23 miles south of Greene and New Hartford. By the time June rolled around many other small Butler County towns started to fear a flood, but not the the extent of which it happened. The flood affected Greene, New Hartford, Shell Rock and Parkersburg, yet again. Butler County, still without a real stoplight, was hit hard and left many people wondering how each of these small communities would respond.

I think the nature of small community people kicked in. Those that fared better than others were supportive, meals were cooked and distributed, clean-up efforts were supported and time was volunteered to help each community bounce back. Sure the government sent in FEMA workers and the Red Cross, but I think it was the citizens in each town that truly brought their town back to life.

Looking at Parkersburg now, many of the houses have been rebuilt and the school is beautiful. The town growing, the remnants of the disaster are still visible in the lack of trees and areas that haven't rebuilt, but it definitely shows the effort each citizen is putting in to keep their town strong.

The main street of stores in Greene are all up and running again. The grocery store was completely re-done and as I said in an earlier post my grandparents building now offers nice rooms to stay in close to the river. However, the historic community center was torn down in the past year, which I think to many was very sad because of everything that has been tied to the building. Many of the homes that suffered are being torn down and the families have had to find new places. While there are still lingering effects of the flood and people still get a bit worried at the site of rising water, Greene is doing well.

In 2008, Greene had to cancel its town days, ironically named River Days, due to the flood. This weekend River Days kicks-off the 2nd celebration post flood. It kind of is a remembrance of what the community went through, but also shows we have bounced back.

Graduation Speeches

It's been one week since graduation, but some key points in the baccalaureate and commencement speeches have stuck with me.

The first was the a Bible verse I have always liked and it was the main focus of the baccalaureate speech by Kip Murphy and then my aunt wrote it into the card she sent me.
It is Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plan I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

It is disappointing to me to have received my diploma, applied to a large number of jobs and not being employed. I realize it will work out and I need to keep applying and continue to have a positive outlook. But hearing this verse and having it sent to me is a nice reminder that I am not in control of what happens, there is a plan laid out and I have to trust in God and let it work.

The next point came from the commencement speech by Dianne Dillon-Ridgley, a member of the board of directors of Interface, Inc. among many other titles. Her speech discussed many transformative moments in that have affected her life. It's interesting that once you think about it there are many moments in your life that have changed something enough that it made an impact. I would say one big transformative moment in my life was deciding to withdraw the down payment I had paid to Iowa State in order to enroll at Central. While at the time I knew Central felt like the place I needed to be, it was a hard decision because all my friends were heading to ISU. Sitting at my graduation I had no regrets of attending Central, I had so many more opportunities given to me academically and athletically, created many close relationships and achieved many great things.

Lastly, Dianne Dillion-Ridgley brought up the idea of human talent as a resource. A resource that is ongoing. Each person brings a different talent to the world and adds to another's talent. It is what keeps our society moving forward. Each of us needs to recognize our talents and use them as a powerful resource to better the world in which we live.

Thoughts After Graduation

As I look back on my time at Central there are a few things I find important that I wish I would have figured out sooner. These 10 thoughts are something I want my siblings to know when they start their higher education.


1. Take your education seriously from Day #1.
It took me a while to get into the whole groove of college level studying, but I wish I would have learned it sooner because I wouldn't have to have the disappointment of being .03 off of graduating with honors.

2. Take advantage of opportunities.
If you get the chance to study off campus-do it! To participate in a club, team or campus activity-do it! Each opportunity is a new chance to learn or meet new people.

3. Ask questions and for advice.
Take advantage of knowledgeable sources. Don't hesitate to ask questions when you don't understand, it helps you learn! Ask for advice, a fresh opinion is always helpful.

4. Create a network.
Early on you won't understand why this is so important, but when you start looking for internships and jobs it will be. The saying, "It's not what you know, it's who you know", seems to be more and more true each and every job I apply to.

5. Remember gratitude and time management.
Thank those who help you and be grateful for everything you receive, learn and already have. Have a planner and manage your time well, it will reduce your stress. And always remember it will all get done, it always does if you work at it!

6. Enjoy the time you have as a student.
This is one of the last times, if not the last, you get to live with a bunch of friends, play competitive athletics and live a little carefree. After graduation you have to start taking more responsibility for your life, as do your friends. Each of you will take a career path you have chosen and it may not be in the same place. So enjoy the student lifestyle while you are in it!

7. Make your own decisions.
You know what your heart, gut and head are telling you, so listen! Don't let mom and dad make the decisions for you. Do what you will enjoy and go where you feel comfortable!

8. Do something you are passionate about.
Choose a major you enjoy. Why waste your time learning something you don't find delight in? If you don't like studying it chances are you won't like it as a career.

9. Believe in your abilities.
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something! If you know you can, you will be successful. In everything you do, do your best and don't waste your talent!

10. Do what you say you will.
Nothing is more annoying than working with someone who says they will do something, but then never does. Make sure if you say you will do something you do it! Follow through on each task you set out to do and you will gain trust from those you work with and your levels of achievement will be higher.

Working in Teams

Many times throughout my college career I have been involved with teams, not just on the athletic fields, to accomplish a task. I have at times been on teams that worked well together and achieved at a high level, but of course there are always the team experiences that didn't go so well and you are stuck working on more than your fair share and stressed!

I have come to find working on teams for projects can have many advantages and disadvantages. And of course in many of my classes we have had to learn how to best work as a team in order to create more positives than negatives.

With teams it is nice to have the increased amount of ideas, getting to divide up the work and allowing members to focus on what they know best. This results in a better final products, which of course is expected by a professor if you are allowed to work in a team. However, the pitfalls of working on a team in a college course are the students who will not participate evenly because they clearly don't care about their final grade...as long as they pass. These members usually put more stress on the ones who want to achieve a high grade and have to make up for the slacking member. Meeting times are another downfall, college students have many obligations they have to meet and planning for a group to meet gets challenging!

I can say I have stressed out on probably far too many projects during my undergraduate career, but I don't like to just get by on them. I want to produce a result that I can be proud of. Last week was a prime example of it. Meeting with a my group we had 3/4 of our paper done early and waited for the 4th person to send it in. It came far too late and involved reducing the amount of sleep I got caused a lot of stress. But as usual everything was handed in on time. It drives me crazy when people say they will get something done, but then procrastinate and don't follow-through on the task! If you say you will do something, make sure you can and then do it...to the best of your ability!
I do enjoy group work and love the fact more ideas are thought of and more work can get done quickly. And I feel once I am in a job, where everyone is working for the same common goal, working in a group will become more enjoyable and less stressful!

End of My College Career

The days of putting on the Central red uniform are becoming less and less. Each time I load up my bag I realize my days as a competitive athlete are numbered. Knowing this makes each great throw sweeter and a bad day out that much more discouraging. But one thing I need to keep in perspective is 'I DID GET TO COMPETE IN COLLEGE ATHLETICS!' I was able to carry on with 2 sports, that I fully enjoyed for 4 more years after high school. Not everyone can say that and I don't regret a moment of it.

While at times the experience wasn't enjoyable in the current moment, looking back on it there was a lesson in each thing. It needed to happen to teach me about myself and my response. Each time something challenged me, I found a new level of determination, mental capacity and increased work ethic. I can feel good upon the completion of my career in Dutch athletics because I never backed away from a challenge and if I competed it was will all I had.

I contribute my growth as an athlete and person to the numerous coaches I have had at Central. Each one challenged me in a new way. Many of them genuinely cared about my growth as a person over my athletic growth. They knew athletics would end and life would continue. Therefore, helping their players develop skills that were helpful to them in the future would be more beneficial.

I didn't have a scholarship to play for 4 more years. But I did it out of enjoyment. I created friendships that will last long after my playing days and gained mental toughness and determination. I will walk away from my college athletic career without regret and 'what if' questions, because I finished strong and did what I enjoyed.

Central athletics will always be a part of me.