Changing Holiday Season

The Holiday Season...a season of joy, stress, happiness, sadness, laughs, tears, just to name a few. You run out and spend money to bring joy to your family & friends. Send holiday cards & perhaps a letter. You bake & eat too much causing you to set workout & weight loss new years resolutions that last 1 month max. You follow the tradition that's been set out for generations before you. It happens every year, it is what the holiday season entails.

And we did nothing short than all of it this year.

However, traditions are starting to change in our families. There are gaps that are new this year & seem to be floating as the elephant in the room. There are jokes that are missing, the typical, 'I didn't want anything for Christmas' voice is gone as they open a box that refreshes their wardrobe was not there. It happens across America, we've dealt with it before. But yet, the 1st holiday season without that voice is different.

A week before Christmas, we still weren't sure what we would be doing. For 26 years of my life, we have had Christmas at home, loaded up the vehicle (2 hours behind the departure time), and headed to NW Iowa for a few days at my grandparents. A 3 hour drive, with frequent pit stops because my dad drank an extra large iced tea, David got car sick or somebody had to be separated from another sibling are no longer there. No more will we spend the day after Christmas at the Y with my grandpa introducing us to the whole staff before he goes to walk or run laps. This year, my grandma lives just across town from my parents now and my grandpa is watching over us.

We made our new tradition this year, both grandmas at our house, with all my siblings, significant others, and pets coming from everywhere, we had a huge spread of food, games & laughs. While our grandpas sat together looking over us with smiles on their faces, because gosh knows if they were with us, they would have been napping next to each other on the couch.

The same evolution happened in Greg's family, there was a missing voice. Missing sarcastic comments that would put a smile on your face. It's different, it's a new feeling, but you adjust. Someone else in the family attempts to say what the missing voice would of said & it's met with a chuckle & a tear. Yet, in that time we found time to enjoy the large spread of food, gifts & sharing stories & laughs with family.

Traditions change, but as long  you have your family with you, you can support each other & adjust.

Happy Holidays from our new family tradition!

Adding a Personal POP

A lot of my wedding was my twists on Pinterest ideas. Those personal twists are definitely what makes your wedding yours & shows your personalty. Here are some that I really liked.

Blue Heart Patch - One of my grandpa's passed away about 2 years before my wedding. And after seeing the idea of putting a blue heart patch on the back of your dress as your something blue, I knew (even before I was engaged) that I would have a piece of my grandpa's handkerchief sewn into the back of my dress. The night before (yes, the night before), my mom finally was able to get her emotions in check enough to get it sewn onto the back of my dress.

Memory Candle & Board - Another thing I wanted was a memory candle. Three of our grandpa's had passed away and the 4th (my grandpa) was in the hospital & unable to attend. So the wooden plaque was spray painted & my mom wrote on it for me. The roses were in colors that matched the grandma's corsages.

Mint Green TOMS - I can't wear heels. My ankles & back hate them. I look like a klutz & I'm incredibly tall compared to everyone but Greg. So I knew from the start I was not going to wear heels and I stumbled across the mint green TOMS. I knew they were it & it was a way to add the color in for the bridesmaids who wore gray. In the process of collecting sizes, TOMS discontinued the color & I was unable to order them. I was crushed! After finding a disappointing back-up, my mom spotted the TOMS on Zulily. I immediately jumped on & ordered up 4 pairs & was ecstatic. We had comfortable & awesome looking shoes! Completely my style.

Necklaces - Another little 'POP' of color I had for the bridesmaids was their necklaces. I made each of their necklaces with metal letter stamps on flat metal charms. The style of names was different, some got their nickname from me others got their initial + their significant others initial. My pregnant bridesmaid, also not a mini charm with the initial of her baby on it. The 'POP' of color came from the mint green bead I added to lay on top of the charm.

Tulips - Finally, the other fact of the wedding I have known forever was tulips. I love tulips. I am a Dutch kid, probably would have done wooden shoes if wouldn't have had such a traumatic experience walking in my first pair, in fact the blisters may still have scars on my feet! :) I wanted the tulips to be varying colors & really be the bright spot. Each bridesmaid had a different color & mine had all the colors together.

Emotional Rollercoaster

There are times in life you want to be selfish, to only think about yourself, because it's your day. In these times, God takes the chance to ground you and remind you there are others around you.

About 3 months before my wedding, I randomly called my grandma to tell her I was able to buy the shoes I wanted so badly for my wedding. Only to find out that she was heading out to follow the ambulance with my grandpa in it to Mason City. From there time blurs together, with trips to the hospital in Mason City, Spencer & the nursing home in Greene. Every chance I had to be at home also meant a trip to go sit with my grandpa, either to chat or watch a baseball game. Wedding tasks got pushed back and I was fine with that. Sure, I wanted it all to come together 'perfectly', but a new meaning to perfectly was created.

Greg and I spent Easter in Spencer mainly at the hospital & helping my grandma pack their house up and also get her wedding outfit figured out. Weeks before the wedding, he was moved to the nursing home, which we quickly decked out to make as homey as we could and I was hopeful we were on the path to improvements. Just a week before my wedding, I came to the realization that my grandpa would not be in attendance to my wedding. So began the brainstorms to how we could bring the wedding to him. Even days before the wedding we didn't know if he would be at the nursing home or hospital, but the limo driver was on board to take us where ever. The nail appointments were switched to Mason City, so I could stop and see him. Finding out the day before the wedding he would stay at the hospital during the wedding, I quickly came up with the plan to visit him after getting my hair done & before pictures. After early morning appointments, Leah & I drove to Mason City, snuck into an unused room & threw on our dresses so we could have a photo session with him. The smile we saw on his face was a great way to remember him.

Turns out they had discussed putting Grandpa on hospice, but decided to hold out until the day after the wedding and that's when they told me as well. The 2 days following the wedding I spent with my grandpa at the hospital, every time a nurse came in they'd ask if I were the bride and then say something about the situation, all I wanted to say 'was trust me there is no where else I'd rather be right now'. I spent my last day before heading back to work having a good conversation with Grandpa, gave him some wedding cake & introduced him to a caramel latte. And most importantly, I got his wedding advice. After 66 years of marriage, he said to me the best advice he could give me was 'Love your mate & believe in God'.

2 days later he passed away. I know, he had held on long enough to see me and let me celebrate my day. And I am beyond grateful that I was able to see him before and have him be a part of it. But now I know he has completed his journey on Earth and his at home with God watching over me. 

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never an easy task, especially when it's a final goodbye. Last week, I said my final goodbye to my grandpa as he took his final breath surrounded by his loving wife and children.

I know he is in a better place and is free of the limits his age and body had put on him. But his sense of humor and contagious smile are something I will continually miss until we meet again.

My grandpa was born and raised in Greene, Iowa. Became the head of the household before the age of 10, graduated HS early, went to college for a year on a baseball scholarship, but returned home to take full responsibility of his family farm instead of taking a chance to play professional baseball. He never complained about what could of been, this is what needed to be done and he needed to do it.

This was the attitude he had through life, if it needed to be done, he did it. He didn't complain, he didn't get angry, he just did it...no matter what it took.

Farming is no easy task, especially with very active kids and then grandkids. But I struggle to think of a time my grandpa wasn't in the stands for one of my games, no matter the sport. I remember being in a hitting slump one softball season, only to find my grandpa at my house one morning with a wooden bat rigged up with a ball on a string. He stood out in the yard and swung it around and made me hit until he felt it was better. Believe me, it got better.

I also spent my time with him at hog sales, which meant rides and stories in the pick-up and ice cream afterwards. Long tractor rides to Dougherty to pick-up wagons, were always interesting too, but grandpa always made it pleasant. And throughout elementary I spent many league nights at the bowling alley cheering on his team. The soles of my feet will continue to live in fear of grandpa's finger tickling them and my hand will miss his strong welcoming grip. But my heart will remember his smile, humor and fight until the end.

While tears flowed heavily, so did laughs and memories over the last week. There is so much to cherish about my grandpa's 89 years on Earth, that sorrow and grief should not define it, but rather smiles, laughs and memories.

The way my grandpa lived his life was a true model for which to strive for. I hope throughout my life, I can follow his way. Let unneeded stress go, smile, work hard, laugh, crack a joke and most importantly be a positive impact on your community and people that surround you.