It's been a while since I have written, like truly written. I do find it to be something that allows me to get my thoughts out, but 2017 was busy and good in so many ways while also being a bit gray and emotional test as well.
Being a mom for the 1st time is beautiful & ugly. You're learning something new at the same time you are doing it. No manual, but so many opinions coming at you on how 'they' used to do it, or your own thoughts questioning you the entire time. It's tough. It's draining. And you will get through it. And learn many new lessons and so much more about who you are. It tests your relationships and how you are able to respond says a lot about you.
Looking back at 2017, I have reflected on low areas, the high areas & the relationships. While I wish I could have handled certain parts better, I wouldn't change them because they have led me to where I am now and the ability to recognize it and grow from it. At the end of 2017, I took some steps towards making 2018 a less stressed & happier year. And set some goals to do so.
~Reduce the Comparisons
So many of us get caught in the rut of so & so got this or so & so's kid did this. Why do this to ourselves? As a parent, I found myself doing this far too much with people who had a kid the same age as my son & it wasn't productive! And it just causes you stress. Social media hasn't helped this. I have slowly started eliminating people I follow or am connected with, if I don't regularly interact with them I don't need to follow them nor do they need to see what my family is up to. Every family has their own style and every kid develops differently.
~Reduce Electronic Time
I didn't read a book in 2017. This is odd for me. Well, I read many, many children's books because I do find reading with my little to be important and he loves it too. Many times I'd find him either flipping through a book by himself or bringing us books to read. In 2018, I want to reduce my mindless scrolling of social sites (which should help with less connections) and do something more relaxing and eye saving and just read a book, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, or even sit in silence. It's about disconnecting.
~Create Time for Myself
This is so so hard as a mom & so so critical. I didn't do well at this within the little man's first year & am looking to improve it. As a working parent you only have a set amount of time with them in a week & you want to take advantage of the time you have and not give it away by going away for 'me time' or on a date night. But it is critical for your health - focusing here on your mental health. One for sure time I get is grocery time, I may wander the aisles a bit longer, get myself a coffee & sit in my car enjoying silence, but it's a reset I need!
~Being a Do-er more than a Say-er
So many people talk about how they're going to do this or that. But then never do it. Don't say I'm going to start walking or running to make yourself sound like a dedicated exercise person, because if you don't do it you're word starts to drop. Or say we should meet up, but then never reach out to someone. If you have no plans to do something, don't say it. There is a reason there are so many sayings out there that say something related to "I don't trust words, I trust actions". Let's be honest if you aren't doing the small things like saying you're going to start walking more and then don't, how can you be trusted in big things. My plans include reducing the talk & seeing more action. If I don't to do something, I'll let you know.
If I look at my plans for the year it looks like it's focusing on being a better me, aka. it looks like a self-help book. However, if I am not helping myself, I can't fully be there for other people. Your own health and happiness is critical in all your relationships and if you aren't working on those along the way your relationships will suffer. So, yes, they may be focused on 'me' but in the larger scheme they are base I need to grow my relationships.
